Mum's and Susan's guide to eating in Rome

Make sure you bring your favourite comfort foods from Australia such as a jar of vegemite, Nescafe Blend 43 and Peppermint tea bags. Should you have at least 10cm square of space in your suitcase make sure you throw in a packet of cereal (something we failed to do).  You can buy milk anywhere but just try finding Cornflakes!

If you are staying in a Hotel, make sure you check out the buffet breakfast bar for any pieces of food that you can collect and pack into your suitcase to carry you over for a couple of hours once you have moved to your apartment.  For example, Mum on our first night selected two bananas and mandarins from the restaurant’s decorative fruit boil and you will always find the Italian’s provide you with a bread basket prior to your meal. This is a good source of breadsticks wrapped in a packet.  Stealing acquiring a variety of pastries from the breakfast buffet is not recommended as sugar and pastry crumbs are only good for decorating cakes and not the inside of your handbag.   

Upon arrival at your rented apartment and once you have squeezed, along with your heavy suitcases, into the impossibly small lift to your fourth floor apartment, locate 1. the key to your suitcase so that you can extract your beverage comfort food from your smalls and 2. a kettle.  Ah, Nescafe Blend 43 fixes everything!

Grocery Shopping – The first job for the day is to throw out the bruised over ripe bananas and mandarins and packets of bread stick crumbs. After arranging your comfort foods on the bench for easy access, boil the kettle again while making a shopping list with the first priority being toilet paper (the one roll supplied in the apartment aint gonna last 9 days). 

Dressed and ready for your grocery shopping trip and having re read the instructions on how to get to the famous local Roman market just across the road from you; walk around the block only to discover that yes, the famous Roman market is just across the road from your apartment.  Here gaze in wonder at the food presentation making sure you ohh and ahh about the beauty of the fruit and size of the chunks of butchered meat.  Avoid the fish market as it stinks.  Consult your shopping list and then buy anything that takes your fancy.  Along with toilet paper we also prioritised the purchase of a tea towel.  Like toilet paper you can never have enough tea towels.

Mum recommends a good Italian sausage to get her teeth into for her supper. 

While out sightseeing there is one very important consideration, always take the opportunity to utilise any toilet that comes your way as there are very few public toilets.  On the subject of toilets it is best to be prepared for unusual mechanisms for flushing or getting water out of the tap to wash your hands.  Toilet etiquette must be observed at all times unless you exhaust your search for the flush button or sink tap. When desperate throw toilet paper over your ablutions’ and make a quick dash for the door, holding your nose and making gestures of disgust with your free hand.  This should give the impression to those waiting that you are not guilty of what is left in the toilet.  This has been especially useful for Mum who finds it difficult to manage lifting a leg to push a floor leaver with two walking sticks, a light jumper wrapped around her waist and a heavy handbag full of bread stick packets.  Further, an understanding of the Italian language is essential when deciding which words indicate the male and female toilets. A mistake Mum made only once.

Stop at each and every Patisserie that you walk past and buy at least one pastry or biscotto.  Remember, the Italian economy will love you for it.

The lunch menu at an Italian restaurant involves at least three courses.  Tempted but still full from all those pastries we have only managed one course.  Susan influenced by the Italians at other tables has been tempted to wash down her course with Vino Bianco.  This has resulted in a light head and a desperate need to practice her very poor Italian on the nearest waiter who in turn quickly looses patience and encourages her to speak English.  We recommend the practice of ordering the same dish at each of the different lunch venues that you frequent, to critique the many different varieties of Lasagne that are available to the novice tourist.  Be aware that the popularity of Lasagne may result in a restaurant running out and offering a poor substitute. If presented with such a dilemma, make sure Susan has ordered enough of something that you can share to supplement your course.

Gelato – there are enough Gelato Bars to sink a ship but the unweary novice may be under the impression that each shop sells the same flavours as the next.  Beware, Mum was almost caught out today when we discovered the Gelato Bar we had chosen did not have Vanilla!  Never take second best when it comes to Gelato.

Our experience of the wonderful array of foods on offer in Rome has left Mum wondering why Italians are so slim when they have so many carbohydrates in their diet.  We invite answers to this perplexing question.